


I’m Not Going to Kiss Him at Center Ice

by arsonandhockeysticks, Bloodstained_Carnations



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, I researched this too much, M/M, like I read interviews, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsonandhockeysticks/pseuds/arsonandhockeysticks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodstained_Carnations/pseuds/Bloodstained_Carnations
Summary: what if Ron Hextall and Mario Lemieux used to date? but now they dont speak and they talk through emails and Brian Burke?
Relationships: Mario Lemieux/Ron Hextall
Comments: 8
Kudos: 7





	I’m Not Going to Kiss Him at Center Ice

**Author's Note:**

> If you found this by googling for your self or anyone you know, I wouldn't read this unless you really really wanted to
> 
> anyways, im sorry if the spelling and grammar isn't the best, it is later when I am writing this and I just needed to make it happen.

Mario did have an ulterior reason for firing Jim, but that didn’t mean he was going to tell anyone. He could barely admit it to himself. To be completely honest, he also had a motive to hire Ron, but that was an even more repressed secret. He even had a motive for reminding Ron about the time the goalie knocked out his teeth! That being said, all those thoughts could absolutely stay inside Mario’s head. So really, it was a good thing he hired Brian Burke to be the go between. Professionally, he did have to write Ron an email, but god help him, there was no way in hell he was going to do it directly. That’s what Brian was there for. 

To: bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
From: mlemieux@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject: greeting for hextall 

Hi Burkie  
I was wondering if you could send this email to hextall? I would like to talk to him but I will not email him. Please don't include the bit above; 

Hello Ronald.  
I am happy to welcome you to the Pittsburgh penguins family. It is very nice to have you here. I look forward to coordinating with you in the future of this great franchise, the best in Pennsylvania if not the whole nhl. I hope you have a productive and fulfilling time as the gm for this storied team. 

Mario Lemuix 

Co-owner of the Pittsburgh penguins  
Founder of the Lemuix family foundation 

* * * 

To: rhextall@Pittsburghpens.com  
From: bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject: email from Mario

Hi Ron, 

Mario wanted me to forward this to you. Happy reading!

Brian Burke  
Director of hockey operations for the Pittsburgh penguins 

………………..

Hi Burkie  
I was wondering if you could send this email to hextall? I would like to talk to him but I will not email him. but please don't include the bit above; 

Hello Ronald.  
I am happy to welcome you to the Pittsburgh penguins family. It is very nice to have you here. I look forward to coquardination with you in the future of this great fraches, the best in Pennsylvania if not the whole nhl. I hope you have a wonderful time as the gm for this storied team. 

Mario Lemuix 

Co-owner of the Pittsburgh penguins  
Founder of the Lemuix family foundation 

* * *  
Ron was surprised to get the first email from Mario. He was also surprised when he got the phone call from Mario about the job in Pittsburgh. Ron had been sure that, after punching out the man’s teeth, not to mention breaking up with him, he would never hear from him again. After all, their thing fell apart as fast as it came together; they’d had a good start, but it didn’t last. He wasn’t going to keep going out with Mario after he had kissed Gretzky, no sir. But Ron was wrong, and Mario had written him. 

He was going to email Mario back. 

* * * 

To: bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
From: rhextall@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject re: email from Mario

Hi burkie

Nice to hear from you. Could you send this email to Mario?

Hello Lemieux

Thank you for the welcome to the Pittsburgh penguins family! (Although i thought i was already part of it with my father being a Pen?) I am looking forward to working with this team and bringing it into the future. I have many plans for this organization and I hope that we can work together to bring them to fruition. 

Ronald Hextall  
General manager of the Pittsburgh Penguins 

* * * 

To mlemieux@Pittsburghpens.com  
From bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
subject : reply from Ron

Hi Mario 

Ron wanted me to send this to you. I think he is happy to be here, maybe for more than one reason. 

Cheers!

Brian Burke  
Director of hockey operations for the Pittsburgh penguins 

…………….  
Hello Lemieux  
Thank you for the welcome to the Pittsburgh penguins family, all though i thought i was already part of it with my father being a pen afterall. I am looking forward to working with this team and bringing it into the future. I have so many plans for this organization and i hope that we can work together to bring the Pens into the next stage of their story. 

Ron Hextall  
General manager of the Pittsburgh penguins 

* * * 

Mario was almost as surprised as Ron was to get an email back. He thought that Ron would just blow him off the way he did at the end of their, how to put it… fling. Last time, Ron had gone distant before punching him in the teeth. Not a great ending to their dalliance. 

He and Ron had run into each other a few times now that they worked together. It was weird seeing him in the area and not at the other end of the ice. He sort of wished they had gone back to being distant.

* * * 

To: bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
From: mlemieux@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject: reply for Ron 

Hi Burkie  
Could you please send this to Ron? I would like this email to get to him 

Hi Ron  
Its been so nice to talk to you again after all these years. I hope that we will have a fruitful time working together in this organization. The Pens have a bright future and i'm sure you can do a lot with the pieces that we have. I believe that you can do a whole lot with what we have. I hope that we can talk about the future of this team soon. 

-Mario 

Mario Lemuix 

Co-owner of the Pittsburgh penguins  
Founder of the Lemuix family foundation 

* * * 

To: rhextall@Pittsburghpens.com  
From: bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject: reply from Mario. 

Hi Ron.  
I think Mario is really happy to have you back here. He is in a much better mood than he has been in a while. 

Cheers!  
Burkie 

Brian Burke  
Director of hockey operations for the Pittsburgh penguins  
…………..  
Hi Burkie  
Could you please send this to Ron? I would like this email to get to him 

Hi Ron  
It's been so nice to talk to you again after all these years. I hope that we will have a fruitful time working together in this organization. The Pens have a bright future and I'm sure you can do a lot with the pieces that we have. I believe that you can do a whole lot with what we have. I hope that we can talk about the future of this team soon. 

Mario Lemuix  
Co-owner of the Pittsburgh penguins  
Founder of the Lemuix family foundation 

* * *  
Ron was surprised by how happy he was to hear from Mario again. It was something new. A good new thought. Ron wondered what he could do to get Marios attention, and to maybe talk to him more.  
* * * 

To: bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
From: rhextall@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject: email for Mario

Hi Burkie, 

Thank you so much for sending my messages to Mario 

-Ron  
Ronald Hextall  
General manager of the Pittsburgh penguins 

Hi Mario

I was wondering if you would be at the cookout at Sid’s this weekend?

Ron 

To mlemieux@Pittsburghpens.com  
From bburke@Pittsburghpens.com  
Subject: email from Ron

Hi Mario. 

Ron wanted me to ask you if you will be at the cookout at Sid's this saturday?

Cheers! Burkey

Brian Burke  
Director of hockey operations for the Pittsburgh penguins 

* * * 

After the last email from Brian/Ron Mario was panicking. He was terrified to have a long conversation with Ron in person again, but he was also excited. Mario did the thing he alway did when he had relationship troubles; he called Jagr. 

[TRANSCRIPT FROM CALL BETWEEN JAROMIR JAGR AND MARIO LEMIEUX]

LEMIEUX Hey Jaromir, I’m uh… having a relationship problem. 

JAGR: What is it this time, Mario? Last time we talked, you said you were quitting dating. Cold turkey.

LEMIEUX: Well, yeah, but Ron’s back! And, well, uh i uh...

JAGR Mario, this isn't an interview. You can, and usually do, talk openly to me of all people. I’m your best friend! 

LEMIEUX [laughs] i know jags, but this is hard ok? Anyhow, I think I caught feelings for Ron. Like last time.

JAGR: Wait. Is this the same Ron that you used to date?

LEMIEUX: yeah….

JAGR: The same one that knocked out your teeth?

LEMIEUX: The same. 

JAGR: Well bro, i would have to say that you are in a bit of a pickle. 

LEMIEUX: I still like him JJ! What do I do?!

JAGR: Easy. Kiss him at center ice

LEMIEUX Jaromir! I can't do that! I'm the owner of the Pittsburgh penguins, i have dignity!!!!

JAGR: But do you really?

LEMIEUX Man, f*** you! But seriously, thanks bro.

* * *  
The day that Sid's cookout happened was nice and quite sunny. The Pittsburgh Penguins team had gathered in their star forward’s yard for a nice cook out, though it depressingly only consisted of meal-plan foods. Since Mario and Sid were prepping the food, that meant that white boys were the ones seasoning, and since white boys were the ones seasoning it, that meant that all that was seasoning the chicken was a bit of salt and the tiniest bit of pepper. The only side for this chicken was steamed broccoli.  
This seasoning (or lack thereof) on the chicken was fine to most of the players who were used to this flavorless food; most of them even preferred it that way. The one player who really had a problem with this was PJO, and since he had grown up playing hockey he was used to this. Because of that, he brought his own spices, and was quite happy to share.  
Mario had been assigned to man the grill. He was quite happy with this task since he was, at least in his mind good at cooking chicken. Ron, having seen Mario at the grill, walked over to him. 

“Hey Mario” Ron greeted 

“Ron” Mario nodded back. 

For a short time, that was all the conversation that the two men had. They just stood there in silence for a bit. Neither one of them wanted to make the first move. Eventually Mario did, breaking the silence. What followed after that was a surprisingly deep conversation for two former hockey players. At the end of it Mario had even been drawn to tears. Happy tears. 

“I'm so happy to have you back,” Mario said.

“I’m sorry I fucked things up ,” Ron replied. 

“I… I missed you,” was all Mario could choke out before Brian Burke, head of hockey operations, walked up and jovially slapped a hand on each shoulder of the two men, effectively ruining the mood. 

“Alright boys, what are we cooking?” 

In the background, one could fairly hear the goalie (Jarry) saying “alright, pay up, i bet that it would take them till [month] for those two to make up,” 

They did kiss at center ice, but no one needed to know. It’s not like anyone but Jagr was there.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had fun!  
> please kudos or comment, they feed my attempts at writing
> 
> did you know that Ron Hextall was the first goalie to score a goal in the nhl and that he used to hate the flyers as a kid?


End file.
